N

Harriman,

You had to rush away so fast yesterday morning that I forgot to do something. That ‘something’ was to give you a kiss goodby. I know the disagreement we had the other day was very trivial...we’re both very strong opinionated people. No matter what, no matter where, I’ve always kissed you goodby. I guess it comes from remembering what happened to Robert and how, for some reason, I didn’t that one morning. And I’ve always regretted it. Maybe it sounds a bit silly...but humor me, will you? I don’t want that to happen with us.

Anyway...the enclosed papers are a little something for you to read and remember me with ‘til you get home. I actually wrote it some time ago, not long after we’d first starting seeing each other. Right before our weekend in Williamsburg. I was in a really weird mood and sat down one evening with a glass of wine and wrote it. You may wonder what led me to do it...well, Admiral Harriman Nelson...even at that point, after you first kissed me...I was attracted to you. Very strongly, in fact, sir. Harriman, you stirred emotions in me that night on the beach that I’d forgotten about. You have no earthly idea how much I wanted to make love to you that night. But I knew it would have been wrong...for both of us. So a couple of days later, I sat down with the wine and wrote this. You might be shocked to learn that I had a major fantasy about you after that first night. It was very interesting to put this to paper, knowing that I was going to be seeing you the next day. Maybe you don’t really realize how much you really affected me that night.

I’d actually forgotten about this (why did I need to fantasize about you after Williamsburg)...it got put in some files that I’d moved from the apartment to the house after we got married. I was going thru the files recently and found it. Glad I did...and glad Caitlin never found it. She’d have had a heart attack if she’d read it. She wouldn’t have understood how horny her mother really was after that first date with you.

Anyway, read and, hopefully, enjoy. And just remember...I miss you.

Love,
Karen

D

How would I make love to you? I've often wondered.  We're both afraid of this moment.... although we both have wanted it.... longed for it...and now...it is finally here.

My mind is reeling....my hands trembling....my heart pounding so loud that my ears would burst I start by taking you by the hand and tracing the outline of your face with the edge of my finger. Lightly touching my lips to yours, I would then take my fingers and hold your face gently and kiss you not once, not twice, but several times. My hands would slowly make way down from your face to your shoulders and down your arms to your hands. Our fingers would intertwine as we kissed, slowly. Passionately…exploring each other...tasting of each other. You would try to touch me, to stroke me…but I gently push your attempts away…whispering instead that I want to make love to you…your time will come later.

I look into your eyes, wide with wonder at what I will do next...not knowing…but knowing that you want to take control…but I won't permit it…knowing that this is as scary for me as it is for you…we're not children, you and I…we're not inexperienced or naïve…just frightened - frightened of what our passions really hold for us, now and in the future.

I slowly start to loosen the tie you're wearing, undoing it and pulling it slowly from around your neck. You stand perfectly still.....afraid to move....lest I lose my courage and you lose yours. Letting it fall to the floor, I then slowly start to unbutton your starched uniform shirt. Your hands are trembling....mine are too.......First the button at the neck and then each succeeding one downward, gently pulling the material from within your pants. Your cotton undershirt is soft to the touch and I can feel the nervousness of your skin underneath as I slowly trace a line with my fingertips from the neck down to your belt buckle. My eyes never leave yours as I carefully slide your shirt from your arms and glide it down until it drops to the floor. My lips lightly brush yours and you whisper to me, My God! What are you doing to me?

Only what you want me to do, I whisper back. Nothing more. Shall I stop?

You do not answer, but it is only then that I allow you to begin your exploration of me. You kiss my neck softly, barely touching it but I feel your breath on my skin. It feels like warm silk...soft but almost hot to the touch. Taking my hand, you kiss the palm and then pull me tighter against you…your mouth searches for mine. Your tongue captures mine and plays with it, teasing it, as your hands slowly find themselves on my breasts. My thin cotton dress shows what you're doing to me, the evidence readily apparent…and I can feel your reaction to me as it stirs against my body.

Your hands are on my arms, gliding, barely touching, downward. You break the embrace and take hold of the material of my dress, then slowly start to lift it higher until you are pulling it over my head. My breasts are uncovered, the nipples hard from exposure to the night air and the brief pleasure you have given so far. Your eyes never leave mine and I slowly start to unbuckle your belt and undo your pants. My mind is reeling…spinning out of control…from trying very hard to concentrate. I want you so badly, but I want it to be right. It must be right. For both of us. For this is a mutual seduction. I am so afraid of you…of the eventual outcome that we both so desperately want, we both so desperately need…but I want you nonetheless…so very badly my body actually aches…as much as you want me.

You are backing me up slowly toward the bed that is behind me…there is music playing somewhere - very softly…very melodic.  Slowly, as if time has become suspended, you lay me down and then lay down beside me, our hands exploring each other, touching lightly as if the other person were on fire.

Your kisses are more demanding now, more intense, more searching…more revealing of what you want from me.  I'm having a hard time keeping track of reality…it's all becoming blurred now…what is real, what is not…all I know is the delicious feeling that I have by being touched by you.

My hands feel the hardness that is you and I struggle to free you so that I can know it, love it. Let me stroke you, touch you, show you that I do remember how to love; it's been so long, so very long.

You are lying here next to me, my skin touching yours. I never knew that my nerves could be so sensitive, so alive - almost raw.  It's been so long...too long…since I've known this feeling.

Your hands wander downward and I feel you take two fingers and find my spot of ecstasy. You slowly, lightly, gently, touch it and start to rub it, sending shivers down my spine.

My body shifts so that I can touch you. I look into your eyes…eyes that are filled with wanting, longing…lust. Your movements are making it hard for me to keep my concentration. After all, this is my seduction of you, but it has slowly blurred into one of mutual activity.

Your skin responds to my touch, you have grown and hardened to meet it. You feel so wonderful, so warm…so receptive. Lightly my fingertips touch the tip of you and it moves to meet them…as if it has a total mind of its own.  You are trying to hold back…to allow me the pleasure of knowing you fully.  A sticky moistness covers my fingertips…your body's arousal is evident in so many ways.

Your kiss is becoming more insistent now…your fingers probing my body…entering it...making my mind insane in wanting you.

Finally, I realize that if I am to fully master you, I must concentrate fully on you…pleasing you…make you want me as much as I want you. I rise up and gently push you back against the pillow and begin an exploration of your body. Your rapid breathing slows as you realize I will not let you have your way. Accepting my desire to know every part of your body, you guide me as my lips and tongue lightly touch your nipples. Suddenly realizing that they are extremely sensitive, I slowly encircle one with the tip of my tongue and then go to the other. My hands lightly touch your stomach, your body hair stands on end from anticipation. I position myself so that one hand can stroke your thigh and then the other. You move your legs slightly to allow me access to you. Slowly, my fingers knead and rub your thigh until they gently touch your testicles. I see them slightly move from my touch and I see your penis jump when my hand momentarily touches it.

You moan slightly, barely audible, because of the sensations you are feeling. You reach for me, wanting me, but I slightly shake my head no. I want you to see that I remember how to give pleasure…I want to give it to you. My lips again touch your stomach ever so lightly, gently and my tongue starts a path down. Another moan escapes your lips as my lips encircle the very tip of you and tasting the saltiness of you…you feel like velvet against my tongue…growing even a bit larger as I gently tease the rim. My fingers lightly caress you, playing with your hair, touching you. Your body moves in response to me…your feet and toes move because of the feeling you are having

Finally, you are afraid that you cannot hold back any further…you want me to know the same sensuous feelings that I have given to you. You take my head gently in your hands and guide me back up to your waiting mouth. Then quickly you roll over and I am laying against the pillows as your mouth and fingers begin an exploration of my body that I never thought possible.

Your breath feels hot against my skin as your fingers lightly play with the nipple of my breast. You lower your mouth to it and ever so gently bite at it then begin to suck and play with it. Your other hand strokes my stomach and then wanders downward to the warm moistness that has been generated by the anticipation of your touch. My hips are moving against your hand, entreating your fingers to find the place that will drive me over the edge. You slowly stroke me, urging me with both your hand and your tongue. My body rises in response…my mind does not recognize reality any longer…only that it wants release…it needs release…of the feeling that is building deep from inside.

Your mouth follows your hand and your move my legs apart and place yourself between them. You open the outer lips of my being and lower your mouth and tongue to it...tasting…stroking it. It feels so wonderful, so delicious. My hips are beginning a rhythmic movement now, rising and falling to meet the movements of your tongue. Pushing against you, imploring you to probe deeper within me. You are pushing me further to a limit than I never thought possible. My hands are buried deep within your hair, stroking your head, moaning in total pleasure at the feel of your touch.

Then, without warning…the feeling subsides and you arise and you part my legs even further. You are now sitting on your knees as you pull me to you, slowly stroking me with your hardness, the tip rubbing the little place you had just pleasured with your tongue. You gaze at me, but not seeing, only feeling the sensations of us…the wanting…the need…the burning need to join…to become one.

Slowly, you enter me…slowly, not wanting to hurt me because it has been so long since I have known this act…this feeling…this longing. Slowly…gently, you push deeper, deeper…until I have taken the entirety of you. And then we begin to move…ever so slowly…you withdraw and then push inward.  I move my hips to meet each thrust of your body.

The urgency is growing stronger now…the frequency is quicker…harder…

My hands are wandering over my body now. I want you to see what you are doing to me. You lower your mouth to one breast and then the other as you thrust harder and faster in and out of me. Your mouth finds mine and with an urgency so primal, your kisses are so hard and so vicious that my breath is taken away.

Then all of a sudden, you tense and a moan escapes from you as you come…you explode inside of me, yet you regain and continue.  You want me to seek my own release. Sitting up, yet still moving inside me, you take your fingers and urge me to my own release. It doesn't take long…I'm almost there.  My muscles start to contract violently around you as you continue to move inside me…

Your mouth once again finds mine and you softly kiss me over and over.  For the first time in so very, very long, I know what pure, absolute pleasure is…what true joy can and does feel like between two people. I haven't known what this feels like for so long…you have no earthly idea what you have done…no idea how you have made me feel.  For the first time in a long, long time, you have made me feel like a complete woman…one who can love again…and one who can give love again.  Your hands cup my face and I look into your eyes as we lay, still joined together.  Your blue eyes hold what you feel; they search mine…penetrating me…looking deep into my soul.  There are tears in my eyes now. You don't know why. You look at me, unsure now of what has taken place between us.

Don't be afraid, you tell me. I'm here and I will never hurt you.

You are still inside me. I can feel that which came from within you coming from me. You gently kiss the tears from my cheek, my eyes, my mouth.

I'm not afraid, I tell you. These are tears of joy. You've made me soar…you have no idea how you made me feel. It's the first time in my entire life that I've truly soared. I don't want to ever lose that feeling.

I reach up and kiss you so lightly that you barely feel it…but your lips are like fire on mine; your hand goes to my hair and pushes it out of my eyes, away from my face

You hold me tight against you; as if you'll never let me go.  I can feel your heart beating against mine, so hard against me as if it would come out of your chest.

Slowly, ever so slowly, it quietens.  Our breathing becomes less rapid and calmer, more controlled.

Hold me…just hold me…let me know what it really feels to be loved again, I ask you. You see, it’s been so long…I’ve forgotten what it really feels like.

As our union is finally broken, you surround me with your arms and my head is laid on your chest.

Rest, my love.....rest, you whisper to me. The next time, I will make love to you and these are the last words I hear you say before we fall asleep in each other's arms…