The Beginnings
By
Linda Delaney
As I read back over the many pages I have written, I find that I must go back and begin this story at the beginning… it seems as if it was a long, long time ago… the time when it all began….
My life was different then…
I was young, in some ways too young, and my entire future was ahead of me. I had so many plans! Yet I was, even then, trapped by the restraints that the society put on me. At that time, the life of a woman was so different than it is now…
Even in the ‘modern age’ there were many unspoken restrictions. I was an only child, the daughter of a career Navy man. My father was an Academy graduate, a Captain; a good and able officer, but one that was caught in the cycle of a good man who did a good job, that was not extraordinary, but not a failure. Like many others, he was one of the heart and soul of the service, if you understand what I mean. If I had been a male, I would have been expected to go to the Academy, and follow my father’s footsteps. But as luck would have it, I was a girl, and at the time, I couldn’t do that. Women at the Academy came later. I loved the sea, however, and would soon spend my life attached to her. I chose to study Marine Biology in college, and thru my father’s connections, got a job at the Naval Base in Groton.
It was the time that the Nautilus was being touted as America’s best, and she was indeed commanded by the best, Captain Harriman Nelson. Another officer serving on her was a very, young, and breathtakingly handsome Lieutenant by the name of Lee Crane. Already being praised as one of the Navy’s best and brightest, he was a disarmingly self-effacing man, who took no credit for himself instead giving it to everyone else.
My college roommate, Angie Pearce, knew Captain Nelson. She had taken a position in the research department of a small, local Marine Investigative group. They had contacted the Captain regarding some of his published papers, and Angie had had an interview with Nelson. On a later appointment with him, to do a follow-up article, she asked me along, I think for moral support. She said that two brains asking questions were better than one, and that my spin on things was always a bit ‘different’ to begin with.
She met me at the gate on the base, and we proceeded to the dock of the Nautilus. It seemed to me that this Captain Nelson was something of a different officer than most. He was the most creative individual that I had ever met…those eyes, piercing blue, seemed to see into the soul of a person…He had auburn hair, and an interesting face, with a wonderful cleft chin that when he smiled, well, the man could disarm you very quickly. He was short for a man, (although I think it helped him as a submariner) 5’6”,but you didn’t notice. His personality filled the space around him so quickly that he seemed much larger than he was. He was warm, and friendly, and yes, extraordinarily interesting!!!
He welcomed us aboard his boat, and brought us through the sail, down below to the control room. We received a treat truly rare for civilians of the time, a tour of the Navy’s first nuclear sub… Nelson was proud of his boat, and it seemed, his crew as well, for all you had to do was to listen to the man list the accomplishments of each of the men in his charge.
As we turned a corner in a very narrow companionway, (they were all narrow, this one just seemed more narrow than the rest) we walked right into one of the junior officers of the boat. Lt. Lee Crane looked suitably embarrassed at colliding with his CO, and the CO’s guests. Angie had blushed when she saw him, (I later found out that they had had several dates, but Angie also assured me they were only dates. He was so polite and circumspect about ladies, that it had been a very different relationship.), and then introduced me to him.
“Lee, uh…Lieutenant Crane, this is Anne Claire.” She turned to me, “Anne, this is Lee Crane.”
He was ramrod straight… 6’1" and dark, curly hair, slightly awry. He had, (and still has) the most magnificent hazel eyes, green or amber with the light, He extended his hand, and took my extended one in his. His fingers were long and slender, his grip warm and firm, As I looked into those eyes, I knew that I had found someone that would play an important part in my life…
(As of that moment, I did not know how important this submarine officer would be in my life!)
The Lieutenant smiled warmly at Angie, and in a kinder fashion at me. Looking back at it, I think that Lee Crane took my heart at that time, but I was too young and foolish to realize it then. Looking back, it seems the time was right for the both of us, and on some plane, we ‘connected’, as people are given to say.
That day we spent the afternoon in Nelson and Crane’s company. The Captain had many tales to tell of how he had come to command the Navy’s first nuclear sub. The lieutenant silently listened to Nelson’s tales, sometimes adding a word here or there about the Academy or the boat that we now sat on. We were sitting in the Officer’s mess or Wardroom. The wardroom here was larger than many submarines, dark paneling covering he walls, and closets, and yet I couldn’t get over how small it really was. Captain Nelson caught me looking around, and laughed. "Not very comfortable for long trips, is it?"
My response was brief, since I thought I had been caught mentally criticizing ‘his’ boat. "No, sir," I replied quickly, slipping into the mode of obedient civie with no rank.
"Navy Brat?" he asked me.
"Yes, sir. My father is currently posted at Annapolis. He teaches courses in command, sir."
"Then I may know him, and the Lieutenant here may have had him for class."
His look to Lee Crane was a mix of interest, and something else. It was almost ‘paternal’. And the young officer seemed oblivious to it… That he was in awe of, and also somewhat worshipful of, his CO was obvious from the look on his face. I have to admit that I did indeed give most of my attention to the lieutenant. There was something about him that I could not, that I still cannot explain. He has an aura, for want of a better word… He exudes quiet strength, and assuredness, a quality that has only gotten richer as the years passed. Oh, how I loved him then, and how much more I love him now. How little I realized it then.
When Angie and I finally left the boat, we were giggling like schoolgirls. She had dated Lee Crane for a brief time, and then moved on. She was now interested in the Captain of the Nautilus, and hoped that this second meeting would lead to more than a surface interest on his part. I wanted none of him. He was a nice man, an interesting man, but nothing more to me, and while I liked older men, Nelson was far too old for me. Not so for Angie, but then, that is her tale…
I went back to my little cubicle on the base in the research hall. I could not, (years later, I still cannot) get his eyes out of my mind. Most people consider hazel eyes ordinary, needless to say, I do not. His eyes shifted in color constantly. Green with flecks of brown and gold, or golden with green and brown highlights. There are times, when the light hits them that they are truly amber gold, and have wonderful warmth. It all depended on where and how the light hit his eyes, and his mood, and how and what he was feeling, as to how they looked. They could be very dark, and sad, or bright, sparkling and full of mischievousness. They say that they eyes are the mirror to the soul…. then I have to say that I have seen his soul many times in those wonderful eyes.
Clearly, I believe we are soul mates… but let me go on a little more with my story, and perhaps you will understand all of this better when I finish.
Angie went back to her office and two days later, she came by my office and showed me a copy of the article about the Captain of the Nautilus. She had called him and told him she would bring a copy of the article to him for his final approval. She wanted me to go to the boat with her again.
It would give me a chance to see Lieutenant Crane again, so of course, I went with her.
We headed to the dock, and this time, they were waiting for us at the head of the gangway to the boat. The Captain invited us to lunch with them at the Officer’s Club, and we both eagerly accepted, walking with them to the club. Captain Nelson looked at me and smiled, "This can’t be new experience for you."
"I’d never been here until I started working here, sir. My father has been at the Academy and at Norfolk for most of my life. I haven’t seen a lot of other bases…. I don’t remember the years that we spent in San Diego at all… I was five when we came east. So essentially, I’ve lived in the East all my life…According to my Dad, California is a very pretty place."
He laughed, a warm, rich laugh. "Yes, well it is, you can take my word for it, Miss Claire. Miss Pearce, may I have the article?"
Angie handed the folder to Nelson as we reached the door to the ‘O’ Club. You have to understand. At that time, even though I worked on base, as a civilian, there were areas that we just did not go, and the Officer’s Club was one of them…
This particular club was set off on the hill, in a pretty setting. It was an older building with beautiful woodwork and graceful doors and windows. It had a beautiful view of the golf course, and the ocean beyond it. We were seated at a table by the windows, and menus were presented to us. The Captain ordered a bottle of wine, and Angie looked at me and then back at him.
"Captain, we both have to go back to work, sir."
Nelson’s blue eyes took on a decided twinkle… "Miss Pearce, one little glass of wine with your lunch certainly will not affect your ability to finish your days work! Don’t you agree, Lee?"
Crane nodded, "Yes, sir. Shouldn’t have any effect at all!"
He looked directly at me, winked, and then he smiled. My heart was lost at that moment. I had never felt that way about anyone before. I wasn’t innocent, there had been a few men in my life. One lover. At that time, none of them could compare to the Lieutenant. There was, there still is, something very special about Lee Crane. I’m sure there are women who could write volumes. For that matter, I probably could write volumes. Perhaps I already have… I was, and still am, in love with the man…
That smile, in those years, it came so easily, before the weight of command, duty and personal tragedy, took much of the ease to smile away. His life was simpler then. The heartache he would come to know had not yet begun. He continued to smile, and as we ate the luncheon, he plied me with questions about my family, my father, my life, and me… Not once did he give me the chance to ask a question about him. When the lunch was over, and we were about to leave, the lieutenant leaned over to me and said quietly, almost shyly, "May I have your phone number. I would like to see you, again, if you’d like." There was a boyish awkwardness about his request, and I was more than willing to give him the number. Angie was very much unaware of our brief exchange…her interest was being held by Nelson, and when their conversation was done, we were on our way back to our jobs.
"He asked for my number!" was all that I thought about all that afternoon. I had no idea if he would call me again. If he did…well, I would wait and see… I could be patient. Very, very patient!
That evening, I waited and waited for his call. After 1900 and no call, I began to give up a little… He might not call after all. I must have walked around my tiny apartment 50 times that night. My apartment. It was on base, one of the few residences available to non-military employees. It was convenient to the office I worked in and served the purpose of housing and the like… simple and utilitarian, and it had come furnished with the basics. My father had again pulled a few strings to get me this accommodation. I finally plopped down on ‘my’ couch, nervous and exhausted. And resigned to the idea that he would not call.
The doorbell rang, and I rose. Probably one of my neighbors, asking me to ‘sit’ for one of their little ones. I did that a lot. It kept me busy when I had so much time on my hands. "Yes." I called to the door… "I’m coming!"
I opened the door, with "I’ll be happy to stay with…" and I looked into sparkling hazel eyes that were gleaming in amusement.
"Stay with me?" he laughed. "That does have some interesting possibilities." Were my eyes deceiving me or was there a mischievous twinkle in those wonderful amber-hazel eyes….
He stood in the doorway, grinning, a pizza and a bottle of wine in his hands. I was totally taken by surprise. I never expected to find him at my doorstep. "Pizza’s getting cold." he said, still smiling.
"Oh!" I stammered…"Um … Come in, Lieutenant…come in."
He stepped inside the door, and stood there as I closed it. I continued to move about in a dreamlike fashion… I couldn’t believe that he had come to my door!!
He leaned against the doorframe now that it was closed. "Anytime now…and we will be eating cold pizza!"
"Oh, yes! The kitchen…" I pointed awkwardly to the tiny kitchen, and he moved to it, placing the pizza on the counter that served as a table for me, and looking around for the things needed to eat the rapidly cooling contents of the box.. Finally, I moved out of my shocked state, and went into the kitchen with him… it was a tiny room, and the necessary closeness made me more aware than ever of him! We must have bumped and knocked into one another several times, before the dishes and glasses were found, and we had the pizza on plates, and wine in glasses.
Finally, we sat on the couch, putting the food and drink on the coffee table.
He looked at me, and said, quietly, "I hope that you don’t mind. I’m not very good with telephone calls. We’re shipping out in a day, and I did want to see you again. I looked at the phone number, and when I realized that you had quarters on base, I decided to stop by and see if you were willing to share a pizza with a lonely sailor."
I had to laugh out loud at his comment! The little Angie had told me that she knew about him, lonely sailor was hardly the way to describe Lee Crane!
He looked at me and I couldn’t tell if he was offended or just surprised at my laughter. "Oh, I’m sorry, but lonely sailor hardly describes you! You’re a junior officer on the Navy’s first nuclear sub, in the fast track for promotion, if my sources are correct, and you tell me that you are lonely! I don’t think so, Lieutenant!"
He looked at me, eyebrow quirked, "Well, I guess that that’s a question of perspective. You seem to know a great deal about me. I guess I had it coming after asking you so many questions today at lunch! And, by the way, the name is Lee, not lieutenant!"
I took a sip of my wine, surprised by the pleasant taste. I looked at him and asked, "Are you an expert at wines too?"
He smiled at me, that winning smile, that became more and more infrequent in the later years, as the weight of command and responsibility became greater and greater and his life became more and more complex. "No…not at all… I just know what I like. My friend Chip Morton, and I discovered this wine when we were at the Academy… So whenever I have the chance, I get it! If I like something, I do my best to have it!" He settled into the couch, the wine in hand, and we began to talk to one another about anything and everything in our lives.
The time flew by. Before either of us realized it, it was 0230 and we were both expected at work on time in the later morning. He rose, and I stood with him. "We sail tomorrow at 0730. We have a three-week cruise scheduled… I’d like to see you tomorrow, umm, that’s tonight,” he laughed softly, and then became serious again, “if it’s possible."
"Yes," I softly replied. "Yes, its possible…Where?"
"How about if I meet you here, if you don’t mind. The BOQ is no place for a lady. I can pick you up at 1930. We can get something to eat, and spend some more time together."
"I’d like that." I said, quietly, my heart beating so rapidly in my chest that I thought that it would burst out of it at any moment. I extended my hand to him to shake hands, and he took it and drew me towards him. He slid an arm behind me, and pulled my body against his. The feeling was electric. He kissed me. Gently and tentatively, almost as if he were afraid that if he was too forward, too strong, that I would break. I hesitated, and then returned the kiss just as gently. He pulled away, cleared his throat, thanked me and was gone. From the scuttlebutt on the base, that was not the Lee Crane that the ‘civie’ girls spoke about!
I reacted in all the cliché ways that you would expect. I leaned back against the closed door, running my fingers over my lips, where I felt as if he had branded me. I hugged myself, pleased with the whole evening. He was more interesting in many ways than his Captain. I thought he was more handsome, and I would begin to count the hours and minutes until we saw one another again….
The next evening, I was ready for him to come to the apartment by 1830. I had a whole hour to wait!!! I was afraid that he wouldn’t show up, or that I had the time wrong, or that something would happen to break the spell that he held me in. I paced, sat and stood, and paced some more. At 1900 I was a total wreck. By 1915, I was convinced that he wasn’t going to show up, that last night had been a very pleasant dream, and nothing more. By 1925, I was sure that I had lost my mind, and that my whole life was a very bad hallucination.
At promptly 1930, the bell rang. I smoothed my skirt and blouse, and my hair, and opened the door.
HE stood in the doorway, in his work khakis, cover under his arm. Smiling, he asked me, "Are you ready to go?"
If he only knew how nervous I had been, waiting for him to come, how anxious I was to see him again, to be with him again. Dear God, maybe it’s a good thing that he didn’t know!
I smiled back at him, seeing the delight in his eyes at seeing me… Believe me, I was thrilled… I am not a pretty person. Plain is the way I’ve often been described. I tend to carry more weight than I should. That he was interested in me, that he still is, after all these years, still amazes me, if I take the time to think about it. So I don’t think about it now, and I didn’t then. I looked forward to being with him and finding out more and more about this fascinating man.
We returned to my apartment at close to 2400.
Lee had found a small Italian restaurant, with the required red-checked tablecloths, candles in Chianti bottles, and strolling Italian musicians. It was a charming place, and I really loved the intimacy and warmth of it. He knew the owner, who had greeted him like a long lost relative. He frequented the place when he was in port, he told me…. like the wine last night, if he liked something, he stuck to it. Once again, over a wonderful chicken picatta, with white wine, and pasta, we talked. He told me of the Academy, and how he knew from a young age that he wanted the sea. To serve on or under her, and to be a part of the Navy. He told me of his mother, and all that had taken place between them… They were somewhat closer now, he said, but it had taken some time… She was against him taking to the sea, since it had been the sea that had taken his father’s life, when he was but a small boy. He had no memory of his father… and maybe he said, it was just as well… You couldn’t miss what you didn’t know. There was a wistfulness about him, when he spoke of his father, a sadness that couldn’t be eased even with the passage of time.
He then began to tell me about his Captain. By the time Lee was done, I regarded the man more as a brilliant demi-god than anything else. Lee had respected, and been in awe of him since his Academy days. Nelson had been one of his instructors. Serving under him had given Lee an even greater respect for the man.
Then Lee told me about his boat, and his plans to continue in the ‘Silent Service’. The one thing that he seemed to regret was that according to the Navy, a command cannot be held for a long time, something like 18 months, and then its over, and you are off to land duty or another ship or boat… According to Lee, if a crew could stay together for a longer time, and the chemistry was good, you could have an unbeatable team on that boat or ship. I wanted to ask him what would happen if the chemistry was bad, but I think that he would have told me they would keelhaul the offender.
I could have listened to him talk for hours and hours, but we didn’t have that kind of time. We had to get back to my apartment, and he had to leave. He had to report to the boat at 0530. It was getting later and later until finally, I said to him, "Don’t you think we ought to leave. It’s 2340."
He looked like a stricken puppy dog, and he reluctantly signaled for the last waiter in the almost empty restaurant. The man came rapidly to our table and gave the check to Lee, who paid it. He then reached for my chair, and waited for me to gather my things. He took my arm lightly and we went to his car. The blue compact he drove was not the kind of car I had expected. He told me that he had his eye on a jazzy red one, a Cobra, but he was waiting until he reached his next step up in rank… it was too fancy a car for a ‘junior’! And then he laughed.
"So I drive this little thing, and dream of a better car and a better day!"
I said nothing, just touched his arm. He looked at me and smiled, a smile that held a promise of so much. I had fallen for this lieutenant. And I think that he liked me, more than just a little. Yet, only tomorrow would tell.
He took me back to my apartment, and I asked him in. He declined, telling me that he has to get back to his place, so that he can throw his things together to get to the boat. I acknowledged the truth of his statement, and he bent his head toward mine, his lips touching mine. Like last night, the touch is filled with fire, and electricity. Unlike last night, the power and intensity of the kiss is so much stronger. This time, I did not hesitate to return it with an equal intensity. He held me close, and I felt both the strength and the leanness of him. The feeling that that kiss gave me was something I have never felt before. I wanted more, much more… and yet….
He pulled away, and I was breathless with the force of emotions crashing around me. He looked unsure. "Are you alright?" he asked nervously.
"Yes," I tell him softly. I laid my hand on his face. "Be careful, please? Come back to me?" He took my hand in his turned it palm upward and kissed it.
"I will come back to you, I promise. But it’ll be a long three weeks!!"
I smiled and touched his face again. "Goodbye, then…for three weeks"
He nodded, reluctantly letting my hand go, and he went down the hall to the staircase.
He did come back, three weeks, two days, 14 hours and 23 minutes later.
When he rang my bell, that night after work, I was so pleased to see him. But I was startled as well. He was thinner, and more haggard looking and leaning heavily on a cane. He looked so tired.
"Lee?" I questioned.
"I was pulled from the boat a week out, and sent by ONI to help out a situation. I can’t tell you anymore than that. But I’m here, I made it!!"
He grinned at me and then took a step forward and stopped, making a face at some pain, somewhere. I reached out to him, and he brushed my hand aside. "I’m ok, really…just let me sit down in that ugly orange chair of yours!"
He said that with a smile, and he moved into the apartment, to the ‘Ugly orange chair’. I shut the door, and he sat down in it, and waved me to him.
"Come over here and give this lonely sailor, home from the sea, a proper welcome!"
I moved quickly to his side, and knelt down next to the chair. He bent his head forward, and I moved my face to his, as he drew me into a kiss. "I missed you. I was hoping that you would be waiting for me…that you would miss me." The insecurity that he always felt was never more evident than at that moment.
"I have been waiting for you, Lee. I have missed you more than you know!"
His arms wrapped around me, I raised my arms to his neck. We kissed… It felt like forever, a warm and wonderful forever! It was a long, lingering passionate kiss, both of us tentatively exploring each other’s mouth, tongues touching, finding their way, probing deeper and deeper. We pulled apart…"Lee" I said huskily.
He simply pulled me into a stronger embrace, kissing me even more passionately than before. My senses were reeling. I wanted him!! All of him!!! But how? How did I let him know that, but also let him know that I was not a wanton, a woman who jumped into bed with a man on a single invitation…. I had had one lover several years ago…but the relationship simply had not worked.
Oh, but I wanted Lee…now, right here and now, and without any qualifications… I knew how I felt about him. I could only hope that he felt the same about me…
His arms held me close, his lips trailing kisses on my face and neck, igniting fires of desire in me that I wanted to quench with him, only with him. I responded to his kisses with a tentative exploration of my own, kissing his face, running my hands over his shoulders, pulling myself closer to him, allowing my hands to learn all they could about him. He sighed heavily, and I looked at him in askance.
"This isn’t going to work." He said softly… "I want you…but…"
Relief mixed with desire, as I murmured "And I want you…"
Realizing that we both were willing to go forward with this, I stood, and he did also, taking the cane and leaning on it with one hand. "Come…The bedroom is this way.” I took his hand, and he slid it around my waist. He pulled me to him in another kiss that left me anxious for more from him, to be able to give this man all of me…all that I could, and then give him more… Somewhere in the brief time that I had known him, in all that he had shared in the nights that we talked, he had taken my heart, and my soul and I wanted, no… I needed to be one with him… the fear that he would think me wanton, dissolved when I saw the look in his eyes, and felt his touch.
I led him to my bedroom. It was tiny to say the very least. The whole apartment was… and this room was no exception. There was a queen size bed, and a dresser and not much else. The room, like the rest of the apartment was Spartan… But again, it was not the setting that mattered to him. He eased himself to sit on the bed, and pulled me in front of him. The cane slid to the floor. He took both my hands in his.
His desire for me was there in his eyes, but there was something more, too. I hoped that he felt a little bit of love for me…but at that moment, I knew what I still know now, that I loved him. I knew that something had drawn him back to me. I hoped that it was love, not just a need left unfulfilled, but even if it was only that, at this moment, that was what I would settle for.
He held my hands for what seemed to be an eternity, yet was only seconds in reality. His eyes, those wonderful, warm hazel eyes looked deep into my soul…He saw, I believe, all that I felt for him, saw all that he meant to me, and he made his decision… I had already made mine. I leaned toward him. Sliding my hands from his, I rested my hands on his shoulders. He raised his hands to mine. He slid his hands down my sides, to my waist. He moved them slowly up to my breasts, lingering there but for a moment, and moving to the buttons on my prim white blouse. Slowly, he unfastened the buttons, one by one. The very act was one of the most erotic things I had ever experienced. I shuddered in anticipation as he slid my blouse from my shoulders, and his long, slender fingers caressed the soft flesh.
The blouse fell to the floor and his hands, and fingers moved to my breasts, still imprisoned in a white lace bra. He softly stroked the swell of breast that was exposed, and then he reached around my back and released the bra. It fell to the floor, and freed from their confinement, they thrust toward him. He slid his fingers around the nipples, his thumbs stroking them ever so lightly, sending tiny bolts of fire thru my being. I stood there, mesmerized by his touch, not wanting him to stop… and he didn’t. He pulled me closer, and began to lay light kisses on my neck, my shoulders, my chest. He slowly and deliberately made his way to the top of the right breast, his kisses lingering, his tongue, lightly licking. He found his way to the nipple, and began to lave it with his tongue. My body responded with tiny shivers… the sensations were exquisite, made more so by the man that was giving them. I answered his actions with tiny little cries of pure delight. And while he was attending to my breasts with his mouth and tongue, his hands were grazing the small of my back, his long fingers trailing streaks of fire where they touched.
He easily found the button at the waist of my skirt, and released it and the zipper, and slid the skirt, and slip to the floor, never losing contact with my breasts. They were so stimulated they ached!! I yearned for more. I sighed, the ardent worship he was bestowing on my body eliciting a very predictable response. He knew, and in a swift movement, those hands and arms that were arousing me so, captured me and pulled me down onto the bed, on my back. I lay there, clad only in my plain panties, My arms thrown above my head, reveling in the homage that he was paying to me…he was playing with my body, and exciting my soul. Gently, almost reverently, he eased my panties off, and I was now naked… before any other man I would have been supremely embarrassed… I do not now, and never have had a ‘beautiful’ body. But he made me feel beautiful, worshipped…loved. His hands deftly stroked and caressed me, making me writhe in abandonment to the surge of sensuous sensations that were washing over me. I knew that I should be doing for him, but… I simply lay there and let him love me… It was something that he did for me, gave to me all the time in our relationship. He loved me…and made sure that I was satisfied before he thought of himself…His hands were all over my body, stroking, fondling, bringing me to heights of passion I had, at that time, never dreamed possible…. His hands found their way to that most hidden place of all women, long fingers gently persuading that tiny pearl to respond. As his hands worked there, his mouth concentrated on my breasts, my stomach, my thighs…Oh the pleasure!! The pure exquisite pleasure!!! He brought me to the highest of heights, and pushed me over and i cried out, and then lay there, stunned by the emotions!!!!
I felt him lie next to me, and enfold me in his arms… his uniform shirt scratched my naked skin. I reached for him, and kissed him, slowly. Running my hand from his shoulder to his chest, I unfastened his shirt buttons, one at a time, purposefully slow, and teasingly. I gently forced him to roll onto his back and he lay there, the trace of a smile on his face, as I leaned over him. His shirt was undone, and I pulled it from his pants. Then I ran my hands all over his chest, reaching his shoulders, and easing the khaki from his upper body. I tossed it on the floor, and again begin to explore. There were bruises on his shoulders, and a large purple mark on his right ribcage. I placed light, butterfly light kisses on his injuries… I shed several tears at his hurt, and they splashed onto his chest… he touched them wonderingly, and touched my eyes, where more tears lingered. I bent to kiss him lightly on the lips. I feared to release his pants, only because the damage done to his leg that will be revealed. Yet… I continued to kiss and caress him, and I unbuckled his belt. I reached into the belt, and in a single motion slide the pants and his briefs over his hips, and gently down his leg. I saw a large square bandage on his upper left calf, and it is wrapped with layers of gauze. I hesitated to touch his leg at all.
His arms, warm and gentle, wrapped around me. "It isn’t as bad as it looks… I managed to catch a bullet as we were getting away… Anne, please, don’t worry…"
He pulled me toward him, and our bodies touched. The feeling of flesh to flesh is both exciting and comforting… I began to cover his body with kisses, as he did to me… I ran my hands all over him, becoming acquainted with him, with his being, in a totally different, intimate way that I never before imagined. I wanted to pleasure him, as he had done for me… His hands absently wandered over my body, as I kissed and stroked his lean one. I made my way to his manhood, carefully reaching for him, following my hand with my mouth. I took his already erect penis, and gently blew on it, then took it into my mouth. I ran my tongue around the tip, and he groaned, a sound of satisfaction, of sexual pleasure. I ran my tongue up and down the shaft, and he groaned again. My hands were also busy, playing with his body, his balls…and he began to slowly move his hips. I took his shaft and began to stroke steadily up and down, while still sucking on it, and he began to softly moan with pleasure.
I took my hand, and felt how wet I was, how ready I was to receive him, and I took the hand that has been within me, and place it in his mouth. He sucked the fingers vigorously, and I became more and more excited, as did he. In a single, swift movement, I mounted him, impaling myself on his hard, long penis. I cried out in pleasure as he filled me. He groaned in satisfaction. I slowly began to move on top of him, riding him, as if I am accomplished rider… he is holding my breasts, stroking them, squeezing and thumbing the nipples …I pulled my legs tightly against his thighs, forcing him deeper inside of me… I felt as it I would die from the pleasure!
The pressure within me increases, he swelled even more within, as I continue to slide up and down on him… he was moving with me, a movement so primal, so instinctive that there is no thought behind it, just need…raging need! His hands are all over me, mine all over him, our bodies glistening with sweat, slick and smooth. His movements are faster now, as are mine… I felt like I was about to be torn in two by his wonderful maleness, and I knew I would cry out in joy when he cleves me in half. I was moaning in the madness of the moment, pushing down until he seemed to touch my innermost soul with his maleness. I felt him explode within… felt the hot, warm cum spread within me, and he cried out with the release. I reached my zenith, and gave over to it, crashing surge after surge of undeniable gratification. I fell to his side, surfeited and exhausted. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him, and he kissed me deeply. Exhausted, we slept…a dreamless sleep…long and deep.
I wakened as the soft grey of early dawn began to fill the room. Feeling his arms still wrapped around me, I didn’t move, and barely breathed. The reality of the night we spent settled on me like an aura of enchantment. I have been loved by this man! I have been loved, and if I never know this feeling again, I have this night past! I sighed in contentment, and he stirred.
His hazel eyes opened and looked deeply into mine…"Good Morning" he whispers, and his hold on me tightened, his hands sliding down my back. I nuzzled closer into his embrace, enjoying the feel of those strong arms that encircle me. My hand brushed his face gently.
"Do you have to leave soon?" I asked him, my voice filled with regret.
"Soon…I have to meet the Nautilus at 0900. Captain Nelson is expecting a report on the mission that I was on. And I have to report to the base Infirmary before I get to the boat. The doctor has to clear me for duty before I can resume my duties." I brushed my hands against his shoulder and ribcage. "How badly were you really hurt?"
His voice became immediately defensive, taking on a tone that I was to become familiar with when it came to his own injuries. "Not badly … just an inconvenience… that’s all."
I pulled him closer… "Will you be here at the base for a while?" I had to know, I have to understand where, if at all, I would fit into his life.
"Let’s not talk about it now." He said, his voice husky with desire, His hands were becoming more determined. He was stroking my back, my buttocks, and I know…. Oh, I know….
I sat on my bed, wrapped in my simple light green robe. The shower is running. He was showering, so that he could get to his boat, and his Captain. I knew that his boats, and the sea will always come first… if I’m to have a place in his life, I have to accept that. He hasn’t said it, but I know that it’s true…already I know. And the place that I’m to have in his life… well, time will tell that, too. He came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his slender waist. His hair was still wet, and it is a riot of curls…he fought with those curls, to keep them in control all of his life. It gives him almost a childlike quality. He was limping badly, and he looked around for the cane that he came with last night. I held it out to him, he took it, leaned on it, and made his way to the bed. He kissed me gently, and sat next to me.
"I’m afraid that I need some help with this…" He lifts his bare leg to the bed, and I see for the first time the wound in his calf.
"NOT SO BAD!" he told me! If this is not so bad, then what is bad, I wonder…
I looked at the leg, as he handed me the remains of the gauze wrap that he wore on it last night… the square bandage is long gone. I looked at him, and he shrugs. "Wait one minute…" I said. I went to my medicine cabinet, and pulled out some gauze pads and wrap, and returned to the bed. He’s laid his head back on the pillows, and I could see how thin he had become since I saw him last… another thing that would plague him all his life, his thinness. He sat up when I came back into the room… The flesh of the calf is torn in two places… One place is a clean, smooth hole, but on the other side, the skin is torn and ragged, the edges of the wound discolored, the skin around it purple and swollen. I hesitated to touch it, and looked at him.
"Go ahead," he said. "the doctor will redo it at the infirmary. Just fix it up so I can get there."
Carefully I wrap it, and when I’m finished, I could tell by the look on his face that he is hurting…
"I’m sorry, Lee. I tried not to hurt you!" I touched his leg. His hand covered mine.
"You didn’t. I’m ok, really. You did just fine…far better than I could have!" He gingerly swung his legs over the side of the bed, and reached for the cane, standing slowly. He moved to the edge of the bed, where I had placed his clothes, and reached for them. I quietly left him to dress, still wondering where this would be leading me.
A few moments later, he came out of the bedroom. He smiled at me, taking the mug of coffee that I offered to him. Gratefully he took a sip, and said, "You must be a psychic. Submariners live on coffee!"
I smiled back at him, "My father was career Navy. I know all about sailors and coffee!"
He finishes the cup and looks at me. "I’d like to come back this evening…" His tone is almost shy…
"Of Course!" is my response. Am I being too enthusiastic, too anxious? I am in love with this man… and he is asking me if he can see me again!
"I can fix dinner, if you’d like…" he nods…
"I’d like that… Very much."
"Do you know when…?"
"How about 1930? Then I can stop at my apartment and change before I come over."
"Yes, that would be fine… it will give me time after work…"
"I’d better go… I have to get to the infirmary, and then be at the boat, and I’m not moving too quickly with this…" We walked slowly to the door. He bent his head to mine, and brushed my lips with a kiss…"Thank you…"He says softly…
I returned the kiss, just as softly…I lifted my hand to his face… and let it fall onto his chest. I leaned my head against it and his hand gently stroked my hair. "I have to go. But I will be here at 1930."
"I know…" I whispered. He touched my hand again, and opened the door, leaving me.
But he came back that night, and for many more that followed, over many years… I loved him, and to my wonder, he did love me! We had much time together, and even more apart. We were lovers, and we were friends… and in the end, we were together….
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