The Fantasies…

By Linda Delaney

(My mother passed on recently. I found this note at the end of her journal. She had been writing in it when she died. I hesitate to share this but after reading the journal, I know I must. It is the end of the story of my mother and her submarine Captain…)



He’s gone from me now… for good. He took his final leave, and I’ll not see him again. We were together for these last two years, and yes they were wonderful years, wonderful beyond belief. We were finally together. And it was right for us. When the time came for him to take that final leave, he was here….with me.

Before you say it, I know! He should have been in a hospital. He should have been, but he wasn’t. He hated them. It was my last gift to him, for him to be here, in our home. And yes, it was our home. There were no tubes, no wires, no hospital sounds or smells.

We held one another, and said our last good-byes, and he was gone. Softly…gently…perhaps the one time in his life that an event was an easy one…not fraught with problems and difficulties.

I loved him… I do not regret one moment of the years that we were apart…or one moment of the time that we were together. When he was apart from me, he was happy…he was loved… and that was what important for him… and for me. And when he came to me, he needed me…needed to be with me, and I know that he loved me…

I am tired now, but I must finish this. His funeral…If funerals are said to be beautiful, this one was. His son and his grandsons were there together with me. And we wept together. He had been so proud of them and they of him. They made me feel as if I was just as important to them. They welcomed me and took care of me then…

I am going to stop writing now… our story is finished…Wait!! I hear a voice….calling me…It’s his voice!!! I look up, and he is standing in the doorway… it must be a trick of the light! But no…it is him!!! He looks so young….he is wearing his dress whites… I did so love the way he looked in them… His hand is outstretched to me "Come my love…" he says softly… his eyes are sparkling…and he is smiling… "Come…" he says again… I must go!

I am coming my love…I am…







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